Wednesday 2 July 2008

Fight for the right to the sweets course

Imagine you've just had a wonderful meal with friends, good company and relaxed atmosphere. As a result, you're feeling gorgeous, interesting, and possibly slightly more open to persuasion than usual as a result from being filled with terrific food. The main course is over and you're considering whether you'll be asked if you'd like a dessert. You figure you're worth it. You take a moment to imagine what delights will be listed.

That's when the dreaming stops and I remember who I am. The truth is that I am someone who adores something sweet but often feels hopelessly ill when I indulge: I feel awful shortly after, lose the entire contents of my meal (if I'm lucky) and am left with a bitter taste in my mouth, both literally and metaphorically.

More often than not, I decide I will eat at least some dessert. I tell myself this is more about wanting to believe I'm normal, rather than the result of being a glutton. Admittedly, the jury's out. One thing is certain, it makes me a fool. I remind myself once more that dessert is not worth the suffering and prepare myself to desist at the next offer of afters.

The problem is that it is the omnipresent assassins, Wheat and Dairy, are ensconced in almost every dessert (just as they infiltrate so many foods). And I don't want to skulk on the margins of society trying to avoid them. Doing so costs me my sense of freedom (and epicurean enjoyment). I'm more likely to run into the line of fire than avoid it. Principles, I tell you! What can I do but fight: fight for the right to the sweets course.

My gut tells me I must involve European Court of Human Rights: The taste-buds of the dairy- and wheat- intolerant should be no less equal than those of fully-fledged omnivores.

My reasoning cries louder. Start small. Start in the kitchen. Just start doing something. To that end, I solemly declare my commitment to this cause and promise to divulge any relevant intel, both promptly and in full, that may assist in:
  • dispelling the myth that you must consign yourself to a life devoid of odd sweet indulgencies
  • overturning false expectations that all people are not created equal in their enjoyment of the sweets course
  • providing the masses with bespoke sweets that will bring their special meals to a confident and sated close
(cue applause)

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